So just so everyone knows, Scott DID get his ring back! It turns out that someone did find it and turned it in but there was a mix-up on where it was being stored. We got it back on Tuesday!

On the work front, I am still getting my ass kicked but am feeling better about it. I had a revelation halfway through the week - I think I love my job. I mean if I honestly didn't care about it I wouldn't freak out about deadlines or worry about my impact in the business or involve myself in the numerous committees that I do, right? I just wouldn't care. If I didn't love my job I wouldn't try so hard to drag my sorry ass in for more. I wouldn't be in meetings this week fighting for processes that not only are good for the people that are immediately effected by it but would benefit the company as a whole. If I didn't care I prolly wouldn't stick around as long as I have. I mean, I worked at the book store cause I loved books, I worked at Panera for the people and the food - with this I DO love the people but even they aren't the ultimate reason. I like being part of something bigger, I like being on the ground floor of breakthroughs, and I like having semi-freedom in what I want to pursue. Surprisingly enough, after this soul-searching I also realize that the subject matter may not be my first choice but as my competence with it grows, I like it more and more.

I feel like I just told a huge dirty secret. I mean, generally, no one REALLY loves their job, right? There are definitely some days when I will hate it but I think it is now in the love/hate category rather than straight hate. Crisis averted? For now.

I have a craft fair to get ready for - so this is where it ends today. We will be hanging out at Stagg HS tomorrow for anyone who wants to come visit. There will also be some karaoke sung at Dan D Jack's (171st & 94th ave, 10:30pm) tomorrow evening for any joiners.

....I know, I know. We all know that I have a lot of problems. At the moment, it is the fact that I was wide awake at seven thirty......on a friggin saturday. This week I've been sleeping horribly as it is (not for lack of trying, I assure you). I have been dreaming a lot and while not all of them were bad dreams, the sheer amount of them leaves me exhausted.

Thank goodness I was actually able to get a lot of work done this week or I would have been ready to shoot myself as it was. Which brings me to point 2 - I've come to wonder what the hell I am doing with my life. I keep falling behind and missing deadlines that I set for myself at work. I know it's not just my lifelong procrastinator syndrome - at this point I am really unhappy. It's not just being in an industry that I don't necessarily have any interest in, it's also the fact that I feel trapped at this point. I can't find anything with a comparable salary that I would enjoy doing and I am almost at the burning out point in my current capacity. Plus I don't know what I REALLY wanna do.

I think I hit my quarter-life crisis a year late. Really.

The last bit of this week, though...that's what puts it over the top. Scott and I were going out to a movie on V-day (Definitely, Maybe with Ryan Reynolds - it was cute) but we had a training session at the gym beforehand. So we made it to the 7:10 show and about halfway through the movie when I look over at Scott and he is visibly upset. Now I didn't think the movie was THAT touching. Then he lifts up his left hand and I notice what was missing. Yes, folks...Scott lost his wedding band at the gym. We have plenty of people keeping an eye out for it but we are not very hopeful. Not many people out there are that good anymore that they would return someone else's valuables. Assholes.

So I was not that upset about the losing of it...it's just a ring, it's not me. I am definitely here to stay. I was upset about the fact that I can't afford to buy either the same thing back again (the price has gone up $200 from when we originally purchased) nor a comparable replacement so that he would quit beating himself up. I hate seeing him that upset but I am grateful he feels comfortable enough with me that he shows it.

While it is kind of a blow - and before anybody mentions anything about our tax return or the rebate we should be getting, those are already designated elsewhere - last night I came up with an acceptable temporary solution. You see, when my grandfather died my grandmother didn't want to bury his wedding band with him. But she didn't necessarily want to keep it, either. It went to me and it means a helluva a lot to me. I think Papa would agree that this is a wonderful solution until we can afford a new one. Thanks Papa.

So V-day was a bit bittersweet this year but after a hard week at work and home I feel a little wrung-out.....and somehow, a little stronger. As in - if I can get through this, I can get through anything. I just have to push harder. I just hope that I don't break before I make it out of this house.

....where my posts will show up on both myspace and here. How bout that? Too bad the first one back is a downer.

I am a bit shaken right now as I found out there was a shooting at a store I was going to go to yesterday at that time.

Story: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-tinley_shooting_03feb03,0,7357599.story

This morning, this scared the shit out of me - I had been planning on finally spending gift cards and getting some new digs for the 2 events I was attending yesterday evening. I got so wrapped up in making my cousin's birthday gift that I forgot about my intentions and just went to both things in "old clothes". So now I find myself very much aware of my very mortality....trembling with tears that I can't help from leaking out.

To get to this heightened emotional state (and I assure you that it is nowhere near that time of the month) I have to also insert that fact that right before finding this article - I had woken up from a horrible nightmare in which two of my best friends died in a car crash while coming to meet the rest of us at a restaurant.

So I am sure that I emphasized it before but I will say it again, with fervor - to all of you that will probably read this - I love you all! Truly and deeply....and while I won't let the above revelation keep me from living, quite the contrary actually, it still makes me want to be somehow more cautious (though in the case of the shooting, there was really no caution that could have helped). It also makes me grateful for everything that I currently find awesome in my life. So thank you all....for deeming me worth having in your lives. Like I said....know that you are all loved and thought of...by me. :)

So my mom bought herself (us) a wii a little while ago and it is all of the tons-o-fun they have promised it to be (yay!). It also led to my discovery of a geek community in the burbs that I have quickly been sucked into (yay again!). I had a gift card for gamecrazy (you can find them attached to Hollywood Video) that was burning a hole in me pocket for WarioWare. So Scott and I journeyed to the store and proceeded to spend the next hour and a half talking to the very nice, very geeky guy that works there. A week later and I am DDRing for the first time in weeks and playing Guitar Hero in a bar. Awesome!!! I was also being badgered because I HAD to go to ACEN this past weekend (I didn't go as this was my last week of Saturday bowling - in which we took 3rd place!)....it makes me feel happier than I have in a long time to find kindred again.

In other news - I have switched positions at work again (seems to be a yearly habit) and am now a trainer! Big surprise there....it seems to be where I always end up. I am quite happy with this development as I handed along Scott's resume to my former boss - oh if only something would happen in that direction! I hope to start looking at houses right after my birthday and if he got a permanent position, I would feel infinitely better.

So there I am - eagerly awaiting memorial day weekend - if anyone can come up for my b-day the festivities will be the saturday night....somewhere (haven't decided where yet) - also Pirates 3 that morning ($5 matinee rocks).

LJ Interests meme results

1. celtic design:
   I have always had an obsession with Ireland and celtic design. One of my friends once said that I was one that was snared by the "green thread" such as it is...the inevitable pull toward the emerald isle.
2. dragons:
   Dragons represent wisdom and strength....two such qualities I try to enhance in myself.
3. fantasy art:
   Fantasy art is what I picture in my mind's eye but cannot reproduce on paper....but someone else can and I love them for it!
4. godsmack:
   I love this band! Even before I found out they were comprised of pagans, the sensual rhythm of "Voodoo" had me hooked.
5. kevin smith films:
   Kevin Smith is god! Pure and simple. His films are quick, witty, and (yes) often goofy to excess. I love it!
6. nobuo uematsu:
   Nubuo is a window to the very soul of music itself. The composer of all Final Fantasy music past and present...a genius!
7. pirates:
   Yarrr! How could you not be likin' pirates matey? Especially the sexy, vampiric kind. *EG*
8. sarah mclachlan:
   This woman's music got me through the very best and worst of times. She is an inspiration that saved my life.
9. slipknot:
   I watch as this band grows and matures together and I am so very proud of the boys from Iowa. Their last album "Subliminal Verses" was an amazing roller coaster of styles and emotions. Just beautiful!
10. video games:
    The ultimate obsession. If I could get paid to just play all the time, I'd do it, dammit. :)

Enter your LJ user name, and 10 interests will be selected from your interest list.

But 94.7 still sucks....just so you know.

They took it off the air and replaced it with a FUCKIN OLDIES STATION!!!!!!!!!!!

R.I.P. 94.7 Zone

That's right folks, the only radio station worth listening to in this area is now an oldies station. Now all we have is shitty Q101's shuffle. Whoopdie frickin doo.

I was coming home from work expecting to listen to something to soothe the monotony of a day at the office and I turn on 94.7 to "Summer in the City". I thought it was a joke at first and flipped around to see if someone messed with my presets. Then I turned back and heard the announcement for new oldies 94.7. Die you stupid corporate idiots. I get home and check the website and it's just gone! No warning! I found one article on the subject that simply said they were changing to oldies. It doesn't say anything about the concerts sponsored by the zone that are still out there or my guys Sludge and Freak. WTF?!!?!?! You just pissed off the suckers that pay you the most for all the new shit you were dishing to us. 20 somethings are the ones with the money dammit, not the retirees. What are you thinking?!!!!?!!!!?

You have something good and you shit on it. That's just swell. I am definitely moving to Canada now. Stupid corporate bullshit.

You scored as Dracula. You are the smooth sexy cool Dracula. Patient and lustful. If you were any cooler youd be ice. Great style with a way of seducing those around you. And three brides who wouldn't want to be him. </td> Dracula 100% Armand 92% Lestat 75% Marius 67% Blade 58% Spike 50% Louis 33% Deacon Frost 33% Angel 25% Akasha 0% Whose your Vampire personality? (images) created with QuizFarm.com

What's really funny about this one is that this movie never fails to turn me on. Sigh. *EG*

My tummy hurts! Dammit! I have no clue what is making my stomach rumble and quake like an off-balance washer full of weasels on crack chasing their own tails but it SUCKS! Argh! All of this after developing a UTI(that's urinary tract infection for you that have never had the pleasure) on Monday and coming home from work after being there an hour. So I went to the doctor that day since I figured it was as good an excuse as any. I walk out with two appointments! One for bloodwork this Saturday (*shudder* needles! EEK!) and one for a follow up the following Saturday. WTF?! Sigh. Yes, the UTI is gone, but apparently I ate something that expelled Hades itself. Mmph.

Well, we went to Ozzfest. It was fairly slow this year. Except for Zombie, Arch Enemy, Soilwork, and Maiden. Bruce Dickenson (crap, I hope I spelled that right) apparently "likes cows...they eat grass...they don't bother anyone." He says this in the middle of a song! HAH! We actually went up to the Alpine show...which I just have to say...bites the big one. There was so much frickin dust and absolutely no shade. Blah! Ah well, I still got all of Arch Enemy and Soilwork's autographs (huzzah!).

I am going to work at the Ohio Renfest! WOOOOOOT! On Labor Day weekend I am to be a proud salesperson for Sofi's Stitches. Can't wait!

Alright, this is getting to be ridiculous...I'm going to find some Pepto. Night all!

So my first and foremost gripe is my own procrastination. If I hadn't waited so long to reserve the date that I wanted for the wedding venue, I could've had my date. As it is, I have to settle for the following week. So to everyone that I have so far told said date to, it has changed. The save the date cards should be out shortly. Argh. Sometimes I am so stupid.

I am currently at home....on a Monday. Why is that you ask? Again, cause I can be SO STUPID. I woke up feeling perfectly awful and no, I was not hung over and I am not pregnant. I am sick as a dog because I haven't taken very good care of my body over the weekend. Here is how the menu was:
Thursday: breakfast-copious amounts of coffee cake, lunch-chili, dinner-beer, burgers and hot dogs
Friday: dinner-uber greasy rueben and fries followed by drinking
Saturday: lunch-spinach artichoke dip, dinner-steak and shake
Sunday: lunch-hot dog and onion rings, dinner-wendy's

If you haven't been around me lately, this may not seem surprising but in the last year and a half or so....my diet has changed considerably. I just don't eat this much crap in this short of a time anymore...when I do, I face the consequences. Ugh. So I decided to use a sick day. Blech. This trend stops here.

The reason that I let it get away from me so much is that C dragged me along to Lafayette this weekend and we actually had a good time. I bowled a 136, we played a laugh-and-a-half game called Who What Where (which involved Snow White performing an autopsy at Graceland) that is similar to Pictionary on crack, and I found a friggin awesome bead shop.

I have also found out that one of my nearest and dearest is going through a time of sorrow, broken up with the sig. other. Sigh. My heart goes out to you m'love. I just wish there was some way I could comfort in person.

Well, I should prolly get movin on those cards so that I get them out BEFORE the wedding date (kicks self in butt).